Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Well... still on the job hunt (although mom would beg to differ). I've filled out an application for World of Variety (a convenience store) and I ended up calling the Good Sam (the nursing home where I worked last year). And no call from the Good Sam. I suppose they don't want me since I'll work for the summer and quit again, especially since I don't really see myself coming home again next summer. Ah! Not come home? What? Yeah, dropped that bomb shell to Grandma, and let's just say she got this really sad look on her face and said, "Oh Allie." Well, am I really supposed to stay at home forever? I don't think so. I thought I wanted to come back to Fennimore and teach. Maybe I won't. Maybe it is too close to anyone and everyone I've ever known, and I need to get away.
One of my friends who moved to Chicago to go to school for fashion design is moving home. Well, she's moving to Madison anyways, which is closer! But she's one who had to get away from Fennimore, so it really makes me think. I wanted to stay here all my life, that's why I picked La Crosse, I could [fairly] easily make it home in a day, and have most of the weekend. And be close enough to come home and pray that one of my teachers would retire so I could teach English at my high school. But maybe now I'm realizing that I need something different. No, I'm not transferring or going anywhere, I really do love La Crosse and all my friends there. But... should I stick with an English major? Am I really the right person to be a teacher? Sure, everyone tells me that I'm a great people person. Well duh, that's because I already know you. I'm TERRIBLY shy around new people. So shy it almost hurts, and makes everything very awkward.
If I had a wish... it would be that someone would tell me what I'm supposed to do. Is my life going to turn out ok? Am I going to get a decent job? Am I ever going to meet someone? Will I have a family? I know... I'm not even 20 yet. I'm not supposed to ask these kind of questions... but it is really hard not to think about them sometimes.

Wow. I think that might be a record for longest-blog-by-Allison ever. For those 3 of you that read this... well 4 I guess... Dad doesn't comment.





Uff da. I think that sums it all up.

1 comment:

Valerie said...

holy crap! Uff Da! i haven't heard that since i broke up with a guy 20,000,000 years ago.

hey - college is hard enough without having to throw a little guilt and a lot of growing up into the mix. the cool thing is, right now, you really don't have to cement yourself into a career...or a degree.

i know you're shy around new people, you and me both. but here's a question: do you feel that way around kids? or just people your age & older? and do you think that everyone judges you on what you say, do and look like? if you do, holy crap, you're my husband. :o)

but it really is something to think about. if you could do ANYTHING you wanted to, what do you want to do? what is it that brings happiness to your soul and passion to your life? maybe take some classes to that end, and have a little fun.

girlie, i can't even begin to tell you what's gonna happen in your life...and really, would you wanna know? will you get a good job? get married? have a family? my bets are on yes for you. i had a crappy dating life until i got out of college. i met Brendan with i was 33. (which i know is half a lifetime away for you)AND THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT'S WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO YOU!! but sometimes, the best things (and the answers to prayers said today) don't come until later.

you're a lot like me, i'll bet: you like nice neat packages and would really rather know what's gonna happen, rather than be surprised. unpleasantly. bummer that ain't a-gonna happen, either.

now that i've written a dang blog entry, take this: it's all about the journey. enjoy it. and remember that God's writing the itinirary. love you!!